WEIRD BOOKS

We love our books here in Guelyland. But there are some that really can makes us say WHAT!! because of their particular bizarre subjects. I guess there is nothing enough written about tastes or hobbies. Here the selected pearls:

Yes! Everything has a meaning and says something about yourself. True story!

 

 

How! Oh, how!! How? Well, here is how!

 

 

 

 

What's wrong with a bit of megalomania if you have what it takes? Here two reading suggestions for those who think BIG and won't stop until they get  enough.

 

 

 

Now, for people who things completely different, the shy type, the overcrowded one.

 

 

 

 

 I noticed that cooking books are doing very well nowadays. Why waste the energy of your motor? Why waste the craft of "our friend The Atom?

 

 

 

 

For the "Oriental" guy with a selective taste, the one that knows what he wants and has already decided.

 

 

 

Now, if you are the "sofisticated" type, for the little swinger in you!

 

 

 

And here is how you keep your protection protected, you healthy collector swinger. When one is not enough.

 

 

 

On the other side...

 

 

You have to start young and the sooner the better. What a better  way then knowing your steps on the dancefloor on your next Bar Mitzvah. Disco is not dead, you schmuck!!

 

 

 

 

In space or by the sea. Experience man! Listen to the wise. Never leave home  without  yours.

 

 

 

Now for the one that would like "to boldly go where no man has gone before" I Think "Commander X" is the man you gotta dig.

 

 

 

But  if  you are going not far far away but  to the nearest forrest and on your own I got this little  number  for  you. Later, don't say I didn't warn you.

 

 

 

Yes! They can be very dangerous.

 

 

 

 

But at the end of the day we all are animal lovers, here in Guelyland. Be original! Rosana knows how and will tell you everything about it.

 

 

 

 

I know , you  don't  go out and walk them. After all it's a boa you are talking about. She ate too much? Doesn't hug you hard enough? The Rossis, those are the guys  you gotta read.

 

 

 

And yes, then there are the normal ones. The ones that have enough love  with a dog. But dogs have needs too and so their shakras. "Doga: Yoga for Dogs". Do i need  to say more?

 

 

 

 

And  now, this  is  for the Little Princess of the house...and her horse. These days  you need security and it nevercan be too much.

 

 

 

Back to the spiritual stuff. Just for you, the psychic oriented animal lover. He is trying to tell you something and you have to learn how to listen to them. So  much to hear and so little time. I know, and here is how.

 

 

 

 

And  what if your  furry friends is carrying a message from The Big Bearded Guy in The Sky. You just can't afford to miss it. After all you are a believer and HE works in misterious ways...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But after all, nine  lives can't last  forever and you have to let them go. Andrew Kirk and Jane Moseley were thinking  exactly  the same thing: "DEAD PET, SEND YOUR LITTLE BUDDY OFF IN STYLE"

 

 

This one is good  too. And, hey! What about the family? If you can do it  for him  you surely can do it  for them as well.

 

 

 

 

But  why dispose of the corpse if your beloved friend can still "be with you" keeping you company and being useful at the same time. Come on! You know  you want it.

 

 

 

But what if you go first? Well, let THEM decide. Lots of choices. And since you would  do the same  for them, they are sure you won't mind. Or do you?

 

 

 

 

And after so many books... and paper. What a better way to impress your guests in those deep daydreaming moments."Wow, he was thinking of me even here!" they will say and they will  be right. Elegance knows no limits... or smells.

 

Well, back where we started: smells with that great artist that was The Petoman  (the famous french fartomaniac that carried the smoking torch of the 12Th Century english flatulist Roland The Farter). Our Petoman could make  sound effects like thunderstorms or a canon fire, and play "O Sole Mio" o "La Marsellaise" with the help of an ocarina "down under". His audience included Edward, Prince of Wales and Sigmund Freud. He  even let her winds be heared in the famous Moulin Rouge "back" in  1892. One minute of silence for the champions of that lost invisible art... Hey, it was not me!! And keep reading  books, any book!

 

 

 

 

GUELYLANDSONG # 15: Lydia the Tattooed Lady

In 1939, when tattooed girls were not everywhere, Harold Arling and Yip Harburg wrote this funny song. The version that you are about to check is a mix I did from four very different movie renditions of this happy tune. They are: Robin Willians (The Fisher King,1991) Groucho Marx (from the 1939 At the Circus), Kermit the Frog (The Muppets Show, 1976)and little Virginia Weidler (The Philadelfia Story, 1940).

"Lydia, the Tattooed Lady" (Music by Harold Arlen and Lyrics by E.Y. Harburg)

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
and a torso even more so.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is The Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too.
And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!
La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la.

When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world,
if you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree,
or Washington crossing The Delaware.
La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la.

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
When her muscles start relaxin', up the hill comes Andrew Jackson.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Queen of them all.
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
with a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!
La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la.

Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso.
 Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon.
Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on.
La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la.

Here is Grover Whelan unveilin' The Trilon.
Over on the west coast we have Treasure Isle-on.
Here's Nijinsky a-doin' the rhumba.
Here's her social security numba.
La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la.

Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet, for he went and married Lydia!
I said Lydia... (He said Lydia...)
They said Lydia... We said Lydia, la, la!

MONUMENTO AL PADRE DESCONOCIDO

Estatua viviente en Roma, posible inspiracion  para el monumento al Padre Desconocido

Quiero aprovechar la oportunidad que este día me brinda para  proponer la erección del monumento al Padre Desconocido. Ese hombre que a muchos dió la vida sin pedir nada a cambio (descontando lo que cogería de mamita claro, que tampoco uno  no es de fierro no?).

Todos en este día con que mi papá, que tu papá, que El Viejo de Piero... Y yo me pregunto, qué de ese dador de vida anónimo y enmascarado por la oscuridad que se apiada de no marcarnos con el hierro de su apellido. Desinteresado donante y paladín que, armado tan solo con la daga de su lujuria, desafía al Gran Misterio De la Vida.

Porqué nadie lo recuerda? El simple de mente me dirá porque porque simplemente  no lo conoció..Aceptado.

Decía que nadie lo recuerda. Hijos ingratos que beben con amargura del cáliz edípico del resentimiento a pesar de haber recibido de sus entretelas el Don de la Vida. Pretendiendo ignorar que de un polvo vinimos y al polvo volveremos!

Ese macho primordial que dio todo de si arriesgando su libertad (cargos de violación y estupro), que se fue tan rápido como SE VINO emulando la saeta de su simiente.

Ese hombre de pocas  palabras que, obviando romanticismos corrientes, no quiso darse  tiempo para sentimientos,  ni palabras vanas, salvo algún  gruñido o un eructo.

Que luego del braguetazo vital con la mirada en el horizonte estuvo listo ya para enfrentar, acaso trastabilleante, el desafío de una nueva aurora, secándose el sudor con el dorso de la mano y con la elemental altivez que da la satisfacción del deber cumplido, sin mirar  atras, ni aunque se muriese por orinar, que para eso los machos tienen los árboles frente a los que se plantan cual espejo de dureza y reciedumbre.

De que servirían las maravillas del cielo y de la tierra, del mar y los boliches si no poseyeras, mi querido bastardo, la vida, la existencia que el te dió?

Quizá no sea necesario buscarlo porque lo llevas en ti y en tu irremediable sangre. Serán tuyos sus humores, sus facciones, tenderás a sus taras o virtudes. El tiempo erosionará tu superficie y el aparecerá nuevo desde el fondo de ti. Y con su osadía  o sin ella tenderás a continuar su apostolado genital. Las hebillas cual campanas golpearán el suelo nuevamnete en su nombre. Un nombre que no llevarás.

Quizá algún día se crucen vuestros caminos, acaso vuestras miradas  por un largo instante se enfrenten y, analfabetas y sin reconocerse, bifurcados caminos tomarán.

Quizás esto ya haya sucedido.

Y te hablarán pestes de él. Si es que un pesado silencio no se haya  ya pactado entre tus criadores.

Aunque podría ser un soldado, un obrero, un burgués, sacerdote o marinero. este monumento deberá representar su genio y figura de manera universal. No podrá tener la apariencia de una raza o casta determinada que padres desconocidos no escapan a ninguna.  La edad también  presenta ciertas ambiguedades aunque  es más fácil imaginarlo de edad no muy avanzada. Viril tendrá que ser. Un masculino bigote no estará de más. Un rostro sin  ojos, ya que nunca te vió ni los viste, es también imperativo. Representémoslo con una botella en la mano como simple alegoría de su valor, un paso vacilante. Una camisa mal acomodada. Un pantalón sin abrochar. Una ladina sonrisa en un rostro mal afeitado reforzarán la expresión del rostro herido y triunfante del guerrero vencedor de la batalla por la vida que pasará, de degeneración en generación.

Toda ciudad que se precie y reconozca debería tener un monumento así. Para  que cada día como hoy, Dia del Padre, su memoria siga desafiando al olvido.

Que Padre, Padre no es el que te cría (ese es el padrastro o el abuelito). Padre es el que te engendra.

Salud! Por el Padre desconocido!!

DRAW ME A STICKMAN AND HAVE FUN

Now, we just gonna draw a stickman and have some fun. Okay? :)
But we have to do it here.

STAR WARS ART

LUMPEN QUE LEE LIBROS. HASTA CUANDO?

Ya no hay nada que se respete. La urbanidad se nos va al tacho, caracho. Hindeceables que leen libros son una lacra para la conserbacion de las huenas costumbres y un mal ejemplo para nuestros niños. Es que no pagamos nuestros inpuestos? donde esta la polisia cuando se la nesesita. a donde bamos a ir a parar asi. Este triste reportage nos alerta. Estamos abisados. Haci que mejor resen por estos imfelises!

WOODY! WOODY!! WOODY!!!

Me, too lazy to write and you too lazy to look for yourselves. Here a selection of interviews and participations of the great Woodster during different periods of his long brilliant carrier.

1969 with the great Dick Cavett:

With a very young Candice Bergen in the sketch he mentioned before:

Woody interviews the eternal and bright Reverend Billy Graham. Hey! They are even talking religion!:

A much more recent interview and a more serious Woody:

Smile and think!

KIDS

Love them from the first moment...No matter what...

Respect their opinions

Don't expose them to danger

Use your imagination

Make them feel cool and selfconfident

Be a tight family , but give them some space

Respect their childhood

Keep them close to you but don't forget they are individuals

Don't teach them stupidity

Don't expose them to your silliness...It can catch up

Don't make them gredy

Don't say that they are ugly

Smile for them

Let them be

Feed them with fantasy but not estupidity

With proper food...

...and proper memories

Let them play

Remember that they think beyond your ideas

Because when the time comes and they grow up...They will judge you!